I need a clown to rise me spirits boy-o's

Porter is sitting in the Pub and Grub at his usual stool. He looks kind of down tonight, not like we have normally seen him as his chipper self. He sips at his mug and looks at the guy next to him. The same guy that always sits beside Porter and the same guy that Porter always takes out first. The guy sees Porter is down in the dumps so he decides to attempt to make Porter smile by breaking a beer bottle over his own head, but it barely even grabs Porter’s attention until the guy falls backwards in his seat after knocking himself out. Porter smirks at this as he takes the rest of the guy’s drink. Porter turns around in his seat.

“Ello lads and lasses, Real Deal here. You may notice I’m not the same as I usually am. Yeah, I am the REAL champion, but I lost my streak to the big guy Von’Vicious. So that has indeed put me down in the dumps dear fans. I have spent the past week here in the Pub and Grub, hoping to drink me into being happy. But I think I know what may make me happy.”

Porter pushes the camera away for a second, the camera focuses back on Porter and from the back view we see Porter searching for something under his kilt. He puts the kilt back down and puts something over his face, he spins around in his seat again and we see he has a clown mask on.

“Goo-hoo HEY kids I’m a REAL clown. And I am gonna be facing The Real Deal Porter Macleod tomorrow night on Warzone. And what is really funny besides me being the King of Clowns is that I lost my re-debut match after I took out a Shit in a Love Pan. Oh, I mean Shaitan Lopan, sorry for my language there kiddos, goo-hoo.”

Porter rips off the clown mask and begins to laugh. He turns and picks up his mug and downs the rest of it. He wipes the foam from his lip with his forearm. The guy who had just knocked himself out is getting up and gets on one knee, but Porter kicks him in the face, knocking the guy back down. Porter yells “Pub Fight” and begins to laugh as he gets up on the bar.

“You see King Clown, the difference between you and me is, I have pride. Why? Because I am the Pride of the Emerald Isle, I am the Real Deal Boy-o and I will make you famous!”

Porter begins to riverdance on the bar as he starts stomping on drinks and kicking people at the bar in the face.