“Oh Danny Booooooooooooy, Dah Pipes, Dah Pipes are caaaaaaalling.” The drunks in the pub are singing loudly and far out of tune. In the center of these drunks is “The Real Deal” Porter MaCleod. He isn’t as far gone as the rest of them, but he is directing the “choir” He spins around and sees the camera. He downs the Sam Adams hey has, wipes his mouth and begins to speak.
“ Ello, boy-os. The Real Deal here, and welcome to my pub. As you may well have learned, I love to drink almost as much as I love to fight. Hell, I love drinking more. But that’s not important here lads. What is important is the Pride of the Emerald Isle is here to start his marvelous career in the JWF. And I can’t think of a better way to do it, than to start off by taking the United States title, can you imagine it lads, a Scotch-Irish holding the title? Nah, why start there, when I can challenge for the JWF World Title? The possibilities are endless, you want to know why? I will tell you why, I sit here talking to you wee people of the JWF, making myself heard whenever the champion Doogie-Howser doesn’t even make himself known. He hasn’t publicly spoke in quite the time. It musn’t be that hard to take on a champ with such few words. The time has come to pay the piper, and I think you have run out of luck there Champ. Because I will make you famous, and I am the Real Deal, boy-o. Only real men wear kilts.”
He spins in his seat to get more beer and joins in with the Scottish National Anthem.
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December 1st 2006, 4:03 am