Hart: "Everyday the good men of the free world wake up at 7 am, eat their cornflakes and hop into their battered old Ford Fiestas as they travel to work. Most of these people don’t particularly like their jobs, but the idea that months or years of dedication will actually pay them dividends in the long run kind of appeals. The average man works his ass off because there’s hope for a better future…"
"I’m no different really."
"Sure, I might wake up mid afternoon and drive a Porsche to work but, essentially, there are just variables and we are all unequivocally the same. That’s why I’ve got the same passion for earning my ‘promotion’ once again. It’s no fun playing the role of the first mate… every pirate wants to captain the ship."
"So, I stroll into work this Sunday to once again prove myself as the company’s next top dog. Facing some stern competition from employees that believe they have some God given right to jump me in the food chain, I realise that I can’t afford to make any slip ups if I’m to reclaim what’s rightfully mine."
"That’s the JWF World Heavyweight title belt, of course. You knew that already though."
"Everybody knows by now that ever since I dominated this company in just two matches, Hell I lost to you Joe, and the crowed still can't get enough of me! I was born a Champion and I will die a Champion. However, it’s time to prove myself all over again."
"On Sunday night, I face worthy adversaries… including the one foe that I failed to beat last week. Thus far me and joe are the only ones reping this here main event, and sure you cats are a bunch of clowns but the JWF isnt a damn circus!"
"Joe...A rookie in the superbowl? Makes sense, And Im proud to be the rookie in this here match. Tom Brady won his 1st time in the big game, Big Ben won it his first trip, and come tommorow, Ill win it on my first try! Bank on it, old timer!"
-- The mention of clowns brings Hart to a pretty funny flash back, in fact the flashback beginsd to be displayed on the screen...--
---The three sinister faces moved ever forward towards my pram. Every step they took left me feeling just that little less insecure; Mother was far too busy watching the elephants on the other side of the room to notice the way in which my eye had expanded and looked more like golf balls.---
“Man, I love this job!” said the first clown. Sporting a large “Von” symbol on his bright red hat, he crept towards me, stretching out his crooked hands and nodding as he did so. “It’s cool to spook out the little brats!”
“I know what you mean,” added the second of the three stooges. “Joe” was imprinted across the front of his blue cap in a demonic green font. Grunting along with his fellow demons, he sized me up from only a few yards away…
And they were moving ever closer.
“You take the right side,” began the third one. “Steven”… or so the cap read. “I’ll take the left. We’ll all jump out in unison. This one looks like he’ll be a feisty like crier!”
The trio loved nothing more than watching their innocent victims explode into a waterfall of tears. They thrived on it. No matter how many complaints the circus received about the three clowns, they still persisted in doing it. After all, the travelling party of freaks and acrobats moved on to a new town every other week. Who was to know that the trio had gained a reputation for deliberately soiling the minds of little toddlers?
I felt my tiny heart thrusting outward against my chest. The wall of flesh threatened to cave in under the immense pressure. Wailing at the top of my lungs, I begged for my Mother’s attention, but the damn music was far too loud!
“On three, boys!”
Think Frank! Think!
“One.”
“Two.”
Aha!
--Suddenly, reaching down to the edge of the pram, I wrapped my fingers around my favourite rattle and hurled it at the advancing clown. The sharp plastic object span through the air, rotating twice in the process, and collided with its target as intended.---
Falling to the ground and clutching his face, “Steven” rolled around in agony for several moments… catching the attention of my mother. Staring down at the injured brute for a few moments, she wondered just what on Earth had gone on. Finally, she peered over in my direction, and I let out a roar that bellowed around the four corners of the tent.--
The penny dropped.
“You thuggish beasts! How dare you try to scare my little boy like that! How dare you!” shrieked Mrs. Hart, bashing away at the remaining two with her handbag.
“Ow! We’re sorry, lady! It was just a…”
Clowny Joe’s sentence was cut short by an Earth shattering groan. Hitting the ground with an Earthquake like thud, the evil clown clutched at his groin… as my mother brought her leg back convincingly.
“That’ll teach you!”
Hiding behind the white and yellow paint, it was hard to fully understand the fear in Von's eye, but it was most certainly there. His legs shook like a man in fear of his life as he gazed down at his two fallen comrades.
“Ok! Ok! We’ll be going now!” he panted feverishly, dragging the two clowns back away from the pram and out of harm’s way.
My mother’s hardened expression seemed to simmer for a few moments before evaporating completely. Rubbing her hand across my cheek and poking her nose against my own, she brought the smile back to my face immediately.
“Never let any dumb clown upset you ever again, Franky wissy!” she giggled, tickling me underneath the chin as she did.
From the safety of my pram, I beamed once more. Looking back at my mother and praying to God that she could understand my infantile utterances, I tried to tell her straight…
“Ok, Mum, it’s a deal.”
Of course, that’s when I realised that I was still unable to form coherent speech. Slumping back into my pram and feeling at ease with the world once again, I closed my eyes and looked to the future.
A future without clowns in JWF...Priceless!
Hart: Sunday Im looking to put you clowns out to pasture!"
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December 16th 2006, 3:35 pm