The scene opens up to what looks like a haunted house. The camera goes inside as the door creeps open. You can hear creepy music playing as the cameraman walks through out the house. The cameraman walks into a room where a coffin is laying in the center of the room. The cameraman opens up the coffin and Porter is lying inside the coffin. Porter’s eyes open up and look at the cameraman. Porter hisses and begins to cough, choking on his own spit. He sits up in the coffin and speaks to the cameraman.
“I VANT TO ZUCK YAW BLAHD!!”
As Porter does this, the fake vampire teeth fall out of his mouth. He looks down and cusses under his breath. He picks them back up and dust them off.
“You know boyo. It really is tough trying to keep all this stuff up. The teeth always fall out, and they gather so much spit lad. I don’t see how you stand it. But I guess you are used to getting a mouthful of bodily fluids, aren’t ya lad? You really do put on a good freak show though lad, you and Razor Blade Willie sure love getting attention don’t ya?”
Porter starts taking off the ridiculous Halloween costume he has on.
“You see lad, I don’t need to pose a fake image like you do. I just act as myself, and people love me for it, or they hate me for it. You lad, you have to act like you have bats in your belfry just to turn a few heads. But you don’t have to ac t out in a crowd to turn my head lad. Because your in-ring abilities, are the equivalent of how much you supposedly suck blood, boyo. And your little mood swings switch just about as much as the B.A.D. Royal Flush switches shows and cries that they get screwewd. I don’t have that much more to say about you lad, because honestly you aren’t worth that much of my time, jack. So, remember these little things in life. You have your good guys, you have your bad guys, then you have Porter Macleod. And I’m the Real Deal lad. Keep on coming back for more if you want, because I’ll make you famous boyo. Cause for the love of St. Peter, we all know you still need it.”
Home 
January 28th 2007, 5:14 am